1 | Echo710

August 13th, 2009 at 10:21 pm

This product has too many hyphens in the name. That was my very first reaction. (Although they forgot to include “E-Z” in the product name.) Right there, the first hint that the meat-like substance lurking within the package was not going to be good. (That, and the “Pork Rib-Shaped Patty” designation.) Never a good sign.

And then, looking at those four uniformly-shaped blocks of mystery meat, I started wondering, “so, is it like Soylent Green, then…?” (And apparently, the answer was clearly “yes”, considering your “frozen corpse finger” comment.) The Redi-Serve Char-Broiled Rib-Quik is PEOPLE!!!

I actually had a few sympathetic dry heaves there, just watching you push through taking a bite of each one… so sorry you had to put yourself through that! I imagine that this was one of those times where it *didn't* pay to be the Frozen Food Master.

Syrup on meat? I've never even though of such a thing… and yet… it sounds kind of good! What kind of meat do you think tastes best that way… and with what kind of syrup?

My favorite smoked thing… hmm… I can think of two. For one, I love smoked mushrooms… and also, there is a smoked cheese that is absolutely to die for, namely, the “Smokey Blue” cheese, which is made by the fantastic Rogue Creamery (which also produces my very favorite cheese, the amazing, earth-shatteringly delicious Rogue River Blue)… you would never think that a smoked blue cheese could work, since blue cheese has such a strong flavor; how could the flavor of blue cheese not clash with the smoky flavor? …And yet they managed to tone it down from both sides and keep either flavor from being too aggressive, and it really works. (Here's a link to the description of this amazing cheese:)

http://www.roguecreamery.com/product.asp?specif...

Well, sorry you had to suffer through eating these vaguely rib-like abominations… hope the next products you review are better! Congrats on 200 (or 201, to be precise) episodes; looking forward to the next 200+! (Love the hat, btw.)

2 | AS

August 14th, 2009 at 12:46 am

thank you very much for this entertaining review.

3 | Ryan Cooper

August 14th, 2009 at 4:31 am

Favrite thing smoled? Easy answer. Weed! And forget the beer I think you'd need to be high to eat that stuff.

4 | BearSilber

August 14th, 2009 at 5:15 am

Love the hat…pink for the pork. Smoke flavor added…I hate when they make stuff artificial…like the fake grill marks. This thing has more made up words than a Roald Dahl novel.

O for “Orange”….not O for “Arange”

It looks like the McRib sans sauce. Syrup with it?….you could make a McRibddle (McRibb + McGriddle!!!!)

Haha…I did NOT see that reversal of fortune coming….also, I felt bad for you at first….until you ate the raw one….then it became apparent to me that you subject yourself to this torture in a sick twisted self enjoyment sort of way

Hahah, the zebra tat is still there.

Dress it up with jelly or jam or marmalade?….WTF Greg….how about some BBQ sauce…some Sweet Baby Ray's & Tabasco.

Favorite smoked thing….that easy, Smokey the Bear http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/outposts/2009/0... ……then Chris Tucker…..then Smoked Gouda!

5 | MattUD

August 14th, 2009 at 5:37 am

That just looked wrong..but another classic episode for the next clip show. When any “rib” product comes in patty shape and has something connecting the “meat” instead of bones, it should raise a few red flags.

My favorite smoked thing might be sausage or ribs, but a tough call.

6 | Necrosis

August 14th, 2009 at 9:36 am

Good old smoked ribs. And if I wanted to take a bite out of a frozen corpse, without a doubt, inner thigh.

7 | julia3

August 14th, 2009 at 7:52 pm

Oh my god, that was the best review ever. Hilarious. Sorry, i know it sucked for you, but your expressions were priceless. oh jeeze, corpse patties….ew ew ew. Hahaha.

favorite smoked thing?
um, for food i guess jerky or smoked gouda. its kind of a “meh” flavor for me though.
i have a friend who smokes chocolate cigarettes and they smell amazing. thats about it though.

8 | Patricia Beninato

August 15th, 2009 at 3:08 am

Ah, Redi-Serve, staple of Food Lion's meat section. I'm pretty sure I don't want to know what part of the pig/chicken/cow they savage to come up with their products.

As far as smoked things … the smartass in me says “pole” (think about it) but as far as food goes I'd have to go with prime rib from Kreuz Market in Lockhart TX (south of Austin). A friend of mine took me there when I was visiting her in Austin and … it just rocks.

9 | Katherine Nockett

August 15th, 2009 at 6:33 am

excellent review. favorite thing smoked? cigars.

10 | michellewolfe24

August 15th, 2009 at 6:52 pm

I think your reviews are way too long, you should try to cut them down to a few minutes max. Interesting products though.

11 | CMan

August 15th, 2009 at 8:27 pm

I disagree, they are nicely detailed

12 | shanehill

September 1st, 2009 at 7:08 pm

I like them like they are – detailed. in fact make them longer

13 | shanehill

September 2nd, 2009 at 2:08 am

I like them like they are – detailed. in fact make them longer

14 | Kris

January 24th, 2010 at 10:40 pm

its like cafeteria food back in high school. terrible.

15 | Beefy1223

March 30th, 2010 at 8:03 pm

Marijuana or beef briscuit.

16 | JJJ

April 24th, 2010 at 10:24 am

Yeah, I got these at school too.

17 | Isolder74

April 28th, 2010 at 3:07 pm

Bacon

Boy you are a braver man then I. I wouldn't have even bought them. Besides i can take the ribs at the butcher and make them better using a crock pot with i think less trouble then reheating those things. On a side note, I also think that 1 minute on each side can't be enough. That's not long enough for cooking a thin burger all the way through let alone to defrost something and reheat it.

18 | Ashley

June 6th, 2010 at 5:02 pm

Best episode every. lmao It's great.

19 | Ashley

June 6th, 2010 at 5:02 pm

Tires

20 | darknight910

June 30th, 2010 at 1:10 am

It honestly looks like a McRib. Which is a bad thing.