1 | schneidermike

November 22nd, 2009 at 6:48 pm

OH MY GOD DID YOU EAT 5 SERVINGS??

34g or protein PER SERVING!!

dude. you’re insane. I still love you, but you are insane.

OMG when you eat the dumplings!! LOL

2 | Meg

November 22nd, 2009 at 7:04 pm

OMG LOL if i eat that the first bite would of made me gag on it.

3 | Alejandro Chapa

November 22nd, 2009 at 7:19 pm

Im a vegetarian and i love this meal. Your crazy!

4 | Logan

November 22nd, 2009 at 7:24 pm

Um, I am sorry you didn’t enjoy this, but c’mon this just sounds like a bad idea!

5 | Wiser

November 22nd, 2009 at 10:06 pm

I wonder if this is what vegans think real meat tastes like? If so, then it’s no wonder why some claim that meat is evil.

6 | a

November 22nd, 2009 at 11:34 pm

absolutely hilarious. the box looked to nice it sucks that it sucked.

thanks for this very entertaining and informative review

7 | MattUD

November 23rd, 2009 at 3:29 am

That looked terrible…the sound the tofurky made when you were cutting it just didn’t sound right. I applaud the attempt to eat it all.

8 | Kat

November 23rd, 2009 at 6:30 am

best. review. ever.

9 | Tucker

November 23rd, 2009 at 7:10 am

This is like a frozen food, vegetarian version of Man vs Food. Well played sir.

10 | deb

November 23rd, 2009 at 8:26 am

I am so sorry you had to eat that before Thanksgiving, but look at it this way, how much better is real thing going to taste now?

11 | doug

November 23rd, 2009 at 9:46 am

nasty. Can’t believe you tried to eat that.

12 | Harrisburg accident attorneys

November 23rd, 2009 at 9:55 am

Tofurkey… I’m unsure about tofurkey. I had a Tofurkey hot dog once and it was delicious! But somehow ended up puking it.

I felt bad while watching you eat this meal. Well, hopefully you won’t be eating frozen foods on Thanksgiving day! I will never try this willingly.

13 | hin

November 23rd, 2009 at 10:30 am

seeing that thing makes me want to thow it

14 | rob

November 23rd, 2009 at 11:00 am

I have eaten 3 pounds of food at a sitting before but it was food that I liked … eating this thing is like being in prison.

15 | John

November 23rd, 2009 at 4:23 pm

Hilarious. My vegan girlfriend and I were looking at some options for Thanksgiving this year and we will NOT be going with a Tofurkey.

16 | anutterNWOpuppet

November 23rd, 2009 at 6:32 pm

Sorry, but spitting works a lot better in “the movies.”

17 | Sam

November 24th, 2009 at 3:41 am

Great video Greg. That thing looked very nasty. Are you doing less reviews now or am I just missing them somewhere?

18 | Echo710

November 24th, 2009 at 3:14 pm

I was a vegan for 8 years. During that time, I never once ate a Tofurky. (Several friends of mine claim to love the stuff… this completely mystifies me. It looks terrible, smells even worse… no way would I ever commit such a brutal assault on my stomach or my taste buds by trying to eat this.) That being said, I also think that turkey is one of the most vile “foods” on the planet; I don’t like it now, and I never liked it even before I went vegan… therefore, as a vegan I never had any desire to eat something that attempted to taste like a turkey. As for Thanksgiving, there is *more* than enough delicious food to eat without that disgusting turkey.

A few thoughts on your review:

-Why are there no actual *vegetables* involved in this supposed “complete vegetarian feast”? After all, vegetable-based side dishes are classic staples in even the most meat-centric, traditional Thanksgiving meals… and aren’t those sides the best part of the Thanksgiving meal anyway? How about some real side dishes here, instead of just those nasty-looking “dumplings” (which, to me, look more than anything else like sea scallops that have been frozen solid)?

-Ugh, what on earth are “tofu giblets”?

-I actually *like* tofu, and products like this one are what give tofu such a bad reputation. That “roast” looks like a block of… I’m not sure… rubber or plastic, maybe, or some sort of industrial-grade building materials. Who on earth actually buys this stuff? I ate very well as a vegan, and discovered many new and delicious foods during those eight years that I might otherwise have never tried; I also became a much better cook during that time. I never felt the need to resort to a lot of processed meat substitutes… if this stuff is what people think vegans eat, no wonder vegan and vegetarian diets are perceived as bland, boring, or “deprivation”.

-I reiterate: Who on earth *eats* this? (And actually *enjoys* it?) It boggles the human mind…

-Oh, yuck… those “dumplings” are pretty much the only part of this “meal” that sounded like they had the potential to taste good… I mean, cranberries, apples, potatoes… those are all things that I like… but apparently they managed to destroy everything that is good about cranberries, apples, and potatoes (and dumplings, for that matter) with this version as well. Not terribly surprising though, based on the dumplings’ appearance.

-I don’t see the point of the “wishstixs”. Who came up with this? There’s just something that feels a bit depressing and sad about the concept of making a wish by snapping a piece of jerky in half (regardless of whether it’s meat-based or vegetarian jerky). And yet the wishstix are advertised as some sort of “fun tradition”… all I can really do is repeat myself here: That’s just sad.

-Well, I don’t blame you for giving up! Just seeing your reactions after just one bite of each of the items in this “meal,” I didn’t see how on earth you were going to be able to choke down the entire thing. Yes, you certainly are a glutton for punishment for even trying! (Then again, that thing is supposed to serve *five*… so why *did* you even try?)

In conclusion, this review left me even more confused than ever before as to *why*, exactly, these Tofurky meals continue to be so popular… as I said before, I ate very well as a vegan for eight years, always felt that I had nothing less than an abundance of delicious food available to me, and never once felt the need to subject myself to the horror of trying to stomach a Tofurky for Thanksgiving. My understanding is that even for vegans and vegetarians who *want* a faux-meat turkey substitute for Thanksgiving, there are much better-tasting options out there than Tofurky (Gardein and Field Roast are two brands that I have heard good things about, but I must admit that I have never tried either one myself, as I hate the taste of turkey and don’t *want* to eat something that tastes like one).

Now that I’ve written a comment that rivals the actual review in length, I really should wrap it up… so as always, thanks for the entertaining review, and thanks for confirming my suspicions that I missed out on absolutely nothing good by having never tried a Tofurky!

19 | hdb

November 24th, 2009 at 4:43 pm

your poor little face when you were eating!! thanks for taking one for the team.

20 | Randall

November 24th, 2009 at 6:39 pm

This was the most hilarious review you’ve done thus far. You’re a lot more brave than I am!

21 | sodagiant

November 24th, 2009 at 7:48 pm

I could see you dreading every bite with your eyes at the end there. Congratulations for even getting one bite of that disgusting “bird” down your throat. It’s going to make your feast on thanksgiving that much more epic!

22 | Joy

November 25th, 2009 at 7:58 am

A nice lasagne sounds like a much better “Thanksgiving” meal than Tofurky! I can't believe you even attempted to finish it.

23 | Meg

November 25th, 2009 at 8:41 am

Hilarious – sorry you had to go through that – but I can promise that you made a LOT of people laugh.

Have a great Thanksgiving, sans Tofurkey!

24 | Sonja

November 25th, 2009 at 7:36 pm

That almost made ME gag. I'm really glad you didn't eat the whole thing and that you are still with us after eating even that much.

25 | Lori

November 26th, 2009 at 2:07 pm

Any holiday dinner in a frozen box is not going to be the best meal you could eat; especially during the holidays when your expectations are high. I am a vegetarian and I wouldn't eat that way to high on the sodium. Their are plenty of other things you could eat besides that for a Thanksgiving celebration. Like a pumpkin lasagna, mashed potatoes with mushroom gravy, apple and sage stuffing, corn bread made with real cream corn and cranberries, just to name a few of the many vegetarian options.

26 | Healthnuttxo

November 26th, 2009 at 8:49 pm

hahah wow, that's really something. funny, because the other day i had “veggie turkey slices” and i tought they were good. guess ill pass on the tofurky tho! p.s. add me to your blogroll! i'll totally add you to mine!! http://www.healthnuttxo.wordpress.com

27 | Jonathan C.

November 29th, 2009 at 3:50 am

hey you enabled disqus again, and another excellent episode, happy holidays

28 | freezerburns

November 29th, 2009 at 9:17 am

Yes, glad you noticed the re-introduction of Disqus. Was having some performance issues with Disqus a couple of months back but now it seems to all be sorted out! Happy Holidays!

29 | alexander

November 29th, 2009 at 7:47 pm

hahaha that was a riot. I could just tell the frustration that you had in your eyes when you gave in. I don't blame you; I would've done the same. Funny episode Greg.

30 | Echo710

November 29th, 2009 at 8:39 pm

I suppose I ought to register with Disqus now then, since there seemed to be a problem with their accepting my comments (possibly because of my AOL address? Or maybe just because I was posting as a guest?)… at any rate, hopefully you won't have to manually approve my comments every single time now.

31 | Crystal J West

December 2nd, 2009 at 9:31 pm

Hi Greg! I have actually eaten this many times for Thanksgiving and I agree…. there is room for improvement. It's okay when paired with all the other wonderful sides that everyone in the family makes and fresh baked bread. Alone……yeah it would be kind of a sad meal if that is all you had. The company that makes this does well (I think) with their fake sandwich “meats”. The peppered turkey slices are really good. We use them to make an excellent veggie Reuben. Well I guess after my wonderful boyfriend who once upon a time got a degree from the CIA (Culinary Institute of America) doctors the slices up in some kind of veg Au Jus so they're “suitable” in his opinion. They're way better than what they put in this tofurkey loaf with stuffing. The other items (dumplings and things) I honestly don't remember eating them. Maybe we never made them. Gotta save room for pie. Awesome that you are reviewing this. Thanks and Happy Holidays to you and Mrs. FFM

32 | Crystal J West

December 3rd, 2009 at 4:31 am

Hi Greg! I have actually eaten this many times for Thanksgiving and I agree…. there is room for improvement. It's okay when paired with all the other wonderful sides that everyone in the family makes and fresh baked bread. Alone……yeah it would be kind of a sad meal if that is all you had. The company that makes this does well (I think) with their fake sandwich “meats”. The peppered turkey slices are really good. We use them to make an excellent veggie Reuben. Well I guess after my wonderful boyfriend who once upon a time got a degree from the CIA (Culinary Institute of America) doctors the slices up in some kind of veg Au Jus so they're “suitable” in his opinion. They're way better than what they put in this tofurkey loaf with stuffing. The other items (dumplings and things) I honestly don't remember eating them. Maybe we never made them. Gotta save room for pie. Awesome that you are reviewing this. Thanks and Happy Holidays to you and Mrs. FFM

33 | jj

January 12th, 2010 at 6:32 pm

Why are you such a pussy? Stop spitting out the food and swallow it like a man.

34 | Jay

January 15th, 2010 at 8:49 am

I've been a vegetarian for 17 years and I have to agree…. that Tofurky feast is the NASTIEST thing ever!!! I'm not a foodie by any means, but there's way better vegetarian stuff out there and what you just ate there, my friend, is just plain gross.

35 | Jake

March 12th, 2010 at 4:57 pm

That tofurkey looks like you're eating a giant potato.

36 | davidr521

March 21st, 2010 at 8:42 pm

This has to be the *funniest* food review I have *ever* seen. I like to partake of veggie fare every once in a while, but I thought I was going to fall off my chair when I heard your stomach gurgle on the mike. I laughed out loud (even though the wife looked at me funny).

You, sir, are a brave man.

37 | Krista

April 30th, 2010 at 1:14 am

*bleh* it looks like foam, with a dog toy in the middel

38 | zeldachan

May 26th, 2010 at 3:43 am

u look so miserable. i feel so bad 4 u.

39 | Vegan Girl

May 31st, 2010 at 10:27 pm

Tofurky is pretty awful. For the vegans, if they can find it, Field Roast is better. And it doesn't try to be fake meat.

40 | Earthbound_X

June 6th, 2010 at 8:48 am

I loved the ending.

I had a feeling you'd do that, haha.

41 | Brandonmacjaws

June 26th, 2010 at 4:02 am

LMAO!! “There's some crazy whack flavor going on here”

42 | Lorienleigh

June 27th, 2010 at 2:44 am

I've been a vegetarian/vegan for over 4 years and I absolutely hate Tofurky. Give Field Roast a shot- the quality is much better and it's more reasonably priced to boot!

43 | brian

June 29th, 2010 at 1:48 am

hey, I can probably eat the whole thing, or get REALLY full and stop eating, maybe its because I have an iron stomach. but I may try this though, eat an entire tofurky feast. hehehehe

44 | Fred Russo

June 29th, 2010 at 9:58 am

I could not stop laughing watching that video.The facial expressions alone were priceless.It reminded me of when I was a little kid and I was told if I didn't eat my dinner which was liver,I couldn't have ice cream later for dessert.All I could think about was the painful chewing and swallowing I went through with that liver.

45 | brownsugar

July 3rd, 2010 at 5:23 pm

I wish you'd made this video several years ago so I could have been spared the expense to my wallet, taste buds, and stomach from that Tofurky. I don't know how my fellow vegs eat those things year after year. A happy holiday it was not. The next year I made my own veggie pot pie filling and put it into frozen pie shells from Whole Foods. It was worth the effort, edible, and I didn't end up with horrible stomach cramps.

I can't even imagine the nastiness of those dumplings!